Wowza.

Soooo...new focus, and a MUCH better focus, if you ask me :). This past Easter weekend has been unexplainable but absolutely wonderful. Last Thursday, I began praying about finding a community of college-age Christians. I have been personally growing in my faith the past year, after living on my own since really my sophomore year in high school (on and off). I wasn't ready to make the full dive into the whole Christianity thing, because I've had experiences in churches that were really judgmental and hypocritical...and who's to say that Jesus is the only way? Wellll, I certainly have gotten my answer to that. God has truly set me on a path to walk with Him, and I can't deny it any longer. Literally two days later, I got a text from a girl who randomly joined my marketing group, and she happened to mention that she was at a Campus Crusades for Christ retreat...hellloooo, PERFECT! We have been chatting and just met up today, talking about our insane encounters with God and how He has been working in our lives. I'm still blown away. He has literally surrounded me with other Christians in one week of me asking Him to.

Anyway, I want to post how the heck this all happened...but it'll have to wait another day.

Happy Earth Day :)

It's about mid-way through my third day of this sobriety-kick. Normally three days without drinking isn't that big of a deal, but now that I'm thinking about it and focusing on not drinking, it's been a little challenging. For example, today is absolutely gorgeous. A little chilly, but the sun's shining, and it's Friday in Pullman. Meaning...day drinking. Duh. The roommates are starting at two (one hour to nap the bagel bar off), and then tomorrow is Monopoly date dash. Monopoly is the famed biad date dash (two frats involved), but half of Greek row ends up going. It's a day drinking extravaganza...I went last year and had the time of my life. In addition, there's a block party for my street, among other things going on that day. Finally, Sunday (which is also Easter, mind you) is our final pledge class open-to-close (you stay at the bar from open to close, literally). Annnd then there you go. That would've been my weekend. I, however, will be driving home in a couple hours and spending the weekend with my family. It's been the first time that I've been with them for Easter since we moved from Illinois when I was in high school. It used to be a huge event--all the cousins and extended family would gather at my grandparents house for ham and delicious food--but I stopped joining the celebration after the move. Juuust a little rebel. Anyways, it'll be nice to spend time with the family and have a low-stress and simple weekend.

I want to mention that I'm not trying to isolate my friends in this process. In fact, many of them are extremely supportive and understanding of me doing this. Last night, I hung out with my roommates and some other friends as they were drinking in our living room. I didn't feel weird because I wasn't drinking (not that they were especially getting drunk though), and we had some great conversations that didn't revolve around gossip or television. And people are curious about why I've stopped, which has given me the opportunity to talk about some of my reasons doing this.

All in all, life's good :).

Sorry for NOT partying.

Well, I have decided my focus for this blog....(drum roll please)...I'm going to be sober for a year! This doesn't mean I won't have the occasional glass of wine or beer with dinner, but no more binge drinking (or using any other substances for that matter). This SAPST training course is really changing the way I'm looking at alcohol and drugs, and new research is coming out with statistics showing that the human brain isn't fully developed until the age of 24. This means that I'm severely damaging the potential that my brain has, and I can truly see it manifest in the way that I speak, in my emotional states/mood swings, through my relationships with others, in my grades and motivation levels, and with my general experience in life. I have had so many negative experiences with the substance that it's time to let it go from my life for a little bit. Not saying that it's going to be forever, but I want to see if I can do it. It's going to be extremely difficult though, let me tell you. Many of my relationships are maintained through regular drinking binges...you know, sitting around a table, playing cards that tell you when to take the next drink (or at least, sitting around a table, singing song lyrics, and waiting until someone else yells out "SHOT!" or "TAKE A SHOT, TAKE A SHOT, TAKE A G-D SHOT!"). I'm looking for moooore, please! At WSU, it is the norm to binge drink. Can we change this mentality? Are we really growing as individuals, or are we just training ourselves to "get by" and cheat our way through actual work, while working solely to pay for our bar tab on the weekend? I don't want to be that mom during mom's weekend who is dancing on tables and binge drinking with my kids...I don't want my kids to binge drink like I have! I want them to be healthy, positive people who develop into healthy, positive adults.

The sad thing is that I know there will be people in my life that will stop being my friends because of this, or at least stop calling me to hang out. I'm OK with this. I want to live this way, and it is my life, so if they don't approve then oh well. One of the first people I told about this, I figured would be super supportive...which he was, after saying something along the lines of "I give it two weeks" and "Will you make an exception for me when I come visit? You're such a fun person to drink with." Haha, thankkssss. I assured him that I'm just as fun when I'm not drinking...hellloooooooo, I'm a fun person dude! Anyways, even more motivation for me to do this. I mean...who doesn't drink in Pullman? Like 10% of the student body??

Ayiyii. This should be interesting.

P.S. I had 1 beer last night before I went to bed. I think that means that today would be a sufficient starting date for the sober thing...and especially appropriate given that this used to be one of my favorite holidays. ;)

Creation.

I've been meaning to start my own blog for awhile now...I always read others blogs, and now it's time to put my voice out there. I don't know quite yet what my focus will be, or even if there will be an audience, but I love to write and think that consistent writing outside of the classroom will be good for me. So who knows where it'll go. I have a few (somewhat vague) goals that I'm constantly working towards accomplishing, and this will be the vessel that shows the journey.

These goals include to...

• Be genuine and live my life with integrity and respect
• Exceed the expectation (op, #sororityplug)
• Achieve health/wellness and satisfaction with myself
• Grow spiritually
• Have a blast and make the most of my time
• Surround myself with people who respect these goals and push me to become a better person
• Constantly push myself outside of my comfort zone

Anyways, I've always written in a journal, and this is what I wrote last summer before my last one (I still feel it's appropriate):

This is my senior year at WSU. It will be wild [...]. There will be dark times. There will be light times that will be remembered forever through this. There will be stress, there will be conflict, scandal, embarrassment. But there will be tons of laughter, happiness, and success. Whatever I'm thinking will come out on the page, so watch out. This serves as a warning.

Welcome to my brain ;).